The Sober Truth – How Are You Validated?

Acceptance of others and myself is directly proportional to my serenity and happiness.

To be accepted by others is one of the most important human needs we have.

To be accepted by ourselves is even more important than being accepted by others. The struggle is real. To accept ourselves we have to trust ourselves. One of the reasons people come into sober living is to be held accountable for a period of time so they can build that trust within themselves.

But there is another component that needs to be realized. VALIDATION

Whether we are aware of it or not, we seek validation from others and from ourselves. When we feel validated, we feel accepted. Validation can be different for each of us and in today’s world there are plenty of platforms and components that people attach themselves to seeking validation.

In today’s world of social media there are some that are validated by how many likes or views they get on their social feeds or how many followers they have. Some people are validated when they feel others agree with them or send them a certain emoji.

The point is that it is necessary to be mindfully aware of what you need to feel validated and are you able to give that to yourself. We all need some outside sources of validation but when I give all the power to outside sources I lose my power. We will always be seeking and assessing what the current status is of our acceptance level by others.

If we would treat ourselves like our pets treat us we would probably be in a better place. I don’t know about you but my dog is usually pretty happy to see me every time I come home, and I put him in his kennel when I am not there. He is locked in a cage and he is still ecstatic to see me. We should work on accepting and celebrating ourselves at that level.

The best way to validate ourselves is to practice validation of ourselves. Sometimes it means cutting off those external sources that we realize have become the feeding tube of our feelings.

Another component to building a positive self image is to surround ourselves with true, authentic people, or pets, who have our best interest at heart. The feedback and connection we get from people we trust and who know us is one of the most valuable components of self awareness we can gain. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable will deepen our connection and acceptance with others and inevitably help to build our self confidence and self-esteem.

That’s very powerful and puts us on the path of discovering who we REALLY are and not who we think others want us to be.

Live Your Truth & Be Free.